I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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