i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize