I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
