And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
