Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
