i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
