yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
