check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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