this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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