Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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