I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
