You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
