I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my phone needs a breathalizer
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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