So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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