Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize