Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize