Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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