Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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