Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
