i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
These tits shall not be calmed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
