How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
