im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
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So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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