making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
this is an emotional support booty call
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
