By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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