I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
