you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
