what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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