I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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