Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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