Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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