I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
