we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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