Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
