you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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