What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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