Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip

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(630): View more from Illinois

Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS

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(619): View more from California

We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??

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