what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
BRING THE BAGELS
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
