She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
