We're like a lot better than the average bears
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
You ever have a fart follow you around?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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