Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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