Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
