Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
