Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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