he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize