you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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