benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
