So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
