i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
