Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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