I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
