I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
