I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize