I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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