how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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