please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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