We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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