your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
