The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
