Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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