i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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